1. Communicate
My # 1 secret to maintaining a healthy
relationship with your spouse/partner is having good communication skills.
- Listen. Reflect back what the person said accurately. Hear the person's feeling. Tune in to what the other person desires.
- Speak unarguably. Speak in statements of fact that can't be argued. This way of speaking places no blame and allows a conversation to happen without argument.
- Focus on appreciation. Focus on positive aspects of your partner and your relationship.
- Turn your complaints into requests. Be committed to making clear agreements.
- Shift from blame to wonder. Ask yourself how you might be contributing to a communication problem. This will shift your critical mind to your creative mind and, in turn, causes you to shift from being right to having a healthier relationship. Would you rather be right or happy?
2. Treat
your spouse/partner as if they’re #1
In a relationship, you should be two
wholes coming together, keeping your individuality, rather than becoming
codependent. Treat each other as # 1. This way, you always have
each other’s back. Be careful, though. Too many times, # 1 may
always be the same person in the relationship.
3. Be honest at all
times
The first sign of your love is complete
honesty. Honesty in a relationship starts with an honest opinion and
extends to telling it all to him without deviating from the facts. What happens
if you try to hide something from your mate? Let’s face it, he/she will come to
know of the truth sooner or later. When he or she comes to know about your
lies, your partner will get hurt badly. On the other side if you tell the
truth, your mate will admire your sense of righteousness.
4. Respect each other
Respect is another aspect of a
relationship that cannot be ignored. It is only when you respect one another
will the world respect your relationship. Respect is not something that happens
overnight. You need to work hard to gain your mate’s respect. When you respect
your spouse/partner, you place him/her a notch above the rest, which in turn
makes your mate feel special and results in strengthening your relationship.
5. Trusting one another
Trust is a key ingredient for any healthy
relationship and without trust, a relationship has no base at all. Despite the
world accusing your mate of anything, you should be strong enough to
identify, connect and most importantly trust your partner so much that he/she never
feels lonely even when the world turns its back. Without trust, there
would always be a situation wherein you would find either partner having a
doubt about the other one. The constant doubt and suspicion would deepen the
cracks in a healthy relationship and may ultimately result in a split.
6. Accepting flaws
You must understand that every person on
this planet has its positive and negative attributes, and your partner is no
exception to this rule. Accepting each other’s flaws and mistakes is something
that helps you strengthen your bond among yourselves and build a strong and
lasting relationship. When you know each other’s positive and negative
qualities, it helps the two of you adjust better with each other. Also, when
the mistakes are accepted, there is lesser chance that you will constantly
criticize your mate about them. Thus, knowing these little things and dealing
with them in the course of life is the most effective solution that would help
strengthen your bond with your partner.
7. Argue, the right way
Arguments are a part of every healthy
relationship. Arguing is an art and can work wonders if used in the right
way. Imagine if your partner agreed to everything you said, there would be
no fun left in your relationship! When you and your mate have difference of
opinion about something, put forward your views and then let your partner put
his/her views. This method does not result in disagreement and gives fair
opportunity to both of you to put forward your opinion. Try to control your
emotions and talk logically otherwise the exercise will lose its purpose.
8. Enjoy a new
experience together
Experiencing new things together can bring
people closer to one another. When both of you try something new, you act like
a team. This strengthens your bond and also helps you break free from your
routine lives. Who knows, the experience might even make your partner fall
deeper in love with you.
9. Compliment your
partner
Complimenting is an art. A single
compliment can do wonders to a person’s mood. Imagine how pleased your
partner would be getting a compliment after a long and nasty day. Complimenting
him/her is a way of telling them how you notice and appreciate little things about
him and tells your other whole how much you care for them.
10. Avoid criticizing
your partner
Criticisms have a negative effect on all
of us. Though it is claimed that criticisms help a person succeed, it is a
wrong assumption, as recent studies have revealed. Criticisms do nothing other
than lowering a person’s self-esteem. When you criticize your partner you tend
to attack their self-confidence and invoke negative feelings among both of you.
Constant criticism is very bad because it would ultimately result in huge
cracks in your relationship. Therefore, the next time you are about to comment
on his or her laziness or his choice of clothes, pause for a moment, think of
the consequences and like a true companion, give positive advice. It will speak
volumes about your feelings for them.
11. Let actions speak
For years, couples have tried to express
their feelings with the help of words. However, many people do not appreciate
the use of fancy words and instead believe in seeing them implemented as
actions in the relationship. Nothing can be better than having your mate give
an occasional kiss or hold his hand. Touch tends to soften the man or
woman, who may pretend to be very strong externally, but crave for love from
within.
